A
MEETING OF GREAT POLITICAL MINDS:
THAT
CHARLES CLARKE AND LEGALISE CANNABIS ALLIANCE MEETING IN FULL:
Source: Evening News, Norwich, UK
Pub date: Friday, June 10. 2005
Subj: A meeting of great political minds
Author: Karl Minns
Web: http://www.eveningnews24.co.uk
Cited: Legalise Cannabis
Alliance
Contact: EveningNewsLetters@archant.co.uk
Scene: A bedsit in Norwich, LCA spokesman Dan (sic) Barnard reclines on a sofa smoking a doobie
of Zeppelin-like proportions. Charles
Clarke sits in a broken chair nearby,
fending off Dan's cat. Pink Floyd's
Dark Side of the Moon plays in the background.
Charles Clarke: As you may know, Dan, the Government is now planning a
white paper on cannabis.
Dan Barnard: (smoking) Excellent.
Just make sure they're king size white papers, Charlie (giggles)
Charles Clarke: I respect your views, Dan, but I think we need to look into the psychological
effects of cannabis a little closer.
Dan Barnard: Um... yeah -- psycho ... logical. And I'm a logical psycho, Charles ... I kill you with, like,
numbers and that. (giggles inanely,
breaks wind). A maths murderer! Ha, ha ... logical psycho, ha!
Charles Clarke: (stroking cat, noticing smell) Recent studies have suggested prolonged cannabis smoking can in
certain cases, result in schizophrenia.
Dan Barnard: Weren't that that film about mods? Oh no, that was Quadraphrenia, weren't it?
(laughs) Quad, quad ... weird word
innit? Coz like schizo means like two
personalities and quadraphrenia's four, so what's that, like, eight? Octophrenia! I've got eight personalities and I've got testicles ...
tentacles! tentacles with, like, big
suckers , and I'm riding on a Lambretta, (imitates Lambretta engine, laughs ,
tokes on bong). testicles .. eight
testicles, ha, ha! B*ll*cks! Ha, Ha.
Charles Clarke: (finds dry clart
in cats tail, picks it off). the
Government is concerned that by downgrading cannabis to a class C drug, we may
be sending out the message that it's harmless.
Dan Barnard: (inhaling on pipe)
Armless? No, I've told you
Charles, I've got eight of them with testicles on. (laughs) Oh man, I love this guitar bit here, de dow
dow dowww, de dow dow. Beautiful. What are we talking about? I'm sahlid garn ... (laughs).
Charles Clarke: (trying to
remove cats claws from crotch) That
its' not harmless, Dan! cannabis use
results in lethargy, confusion, fatigue and paranoia.
Dan Barnard: Paranoid!? Who?!
Who's been saying I'm paranoid?
Charlies, don't shout like that;
you're bummin' my high, man!?
(doing a large bucket) Go to the
garage for me, will you, Charles? Bag
of Monster Munch, a twirl and a pork pie.
I can't be arsed. What were you
saying?
(Charles storms out with the cat still clinging to his genitals.)
Dan Barnard: (hours later) he's been a long time at the garage... Hey,
where's the cat?