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UK: How I fought Portillo

Colin Paisley

News and Star, Carlisle

Saturday 27 Nov 1999

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Ex-Carlisle Mayor turned Legalise Cannabis Campaigner Colin Paisley's
By-election diary

FORMER Carlisle mayor Colin Paisley yesterday joined 17 other would-be
MP's for the closing moments of the high-profile Kensington and Chelsea
by-election. As the official candidate of the Legalise Cannabis
Alliance, Colin, 62, never expected to win. But did his campaign go
smoothly? His election day diary reveals all.

7.30 am: An early start to the last day of a two-week campaign. After
travelling down the previous day, I'd settled into a flat which I was
sharing with a friend from the National Drug Users' Network. It was a
leisurely morning but I'd arranged to meet another candidate - a woman
interestingly called Lisa Lovebucket. I'm well trained politically, and
do what my agent tells me. He told me I should meet her, so off I went to
meet her.

10.15 am: The meeting was to take place in the Greyhound pub in
Kensington at 10.30 am. Earlier, as I got up, it was raining outside.
"This is going to be wonderful" I thought. Emerging from the tube
station at Kensington High Street, I saw the sun was shining and the sky
was blue. It was a good omen.

10.30 am: Lisa Lovebucket didn't turn up. I later found out that she was
from an Internet provider company, though her candidature had something
to do with the London mayoralty.

11.30 am: Sarah Jane Lovett, a columnist with the London Evening
Standard, had invited me to her paper's offices at High Street,
Kensington. I was taken up there, given coffee, and interviewed - a good
chance to argue our case for drug law reform and cannabis.

Noon: Visited the Holland Park Primary School where the count would take
place. It felt weird walking through the constituency, a place where I'd
lived 20 years before as a dependent heroin user. When I left London, I
was fairly destitute. Strange to think I would one day be Mayor of
Carlisle, and then return as a parliamentary candidate. After sorting
out formalities at the school, I spent the rest of the afternoon
exploring the constituency - a collection of mansions and big houses
converted into bedsits. I didn't meet a single person who disagreed with
the arguments.

3 pm: I was the only candidate invited to the London Evening Standard
Christmas Party at the Irish Club in Eton Square. After changing into a
suit back at the flat, I set off. The party turned out to be three hours
of champagne and socialising. I had a long conversation with Ken
Livingstone about my leaving the Labour Party (I didn't realise it was
so widely known). He seemed a bit worse for wear. I tried to talk to him
about drug law reform but he gave the impression he had too many other
troubles to worry about. I spoke to another man - an earl - who was a
bit of a hippie, who did speak to me about the use of drugs. It wasn't
an easy conversation because he was profoundly deaf! I did a lot of
shouting.

9.30 pm: Back to the Holland Park School. The count was due to begin at
10 pm, and we didn't want to miss any of the action. The atmosphere was
absolutely brilliant, very exciting, with everybody shaking hands,
wishing each other luck, posing for souvenir photos. Finally meet Lisa
Lovebucket, who was wearing an off the shoulder cocktail dress, very
demure, very friendly and attractive.

Midnight: A hush fell on the school hall as Michael Portillo arrived. In
an instant, the atmosphere changed. There was talk of death threats,
though nobody would say what had happened. Portillo arrived in a kind of
procession with his heavies and police officers. There were also Special
Branch officers, recognisable by their dark suits and serious
expressions. A short time later, one of my team asked Portillo for his
views on the drugs issue. His terse reply was: "I'm tired, it's late and
I don't wish to discuss that matter."

1.55 am: An election official handed a slip of paper to my agent. It was
our result.. Seeing my poll - a total of 141 votes - I realised I'd lost
my deposit but honestly felt pleased. I'd raised the profile of the
drugs issue.

2 am: The result was officially announced. As the returning officer
spelled out Portillo's victory, he smiled broadly, and I turned by back
on him. It may have seemed rude, but I don't regret it. It was a
response to the way he had treated my colleague earlier. I felt he
deserved it.

4 am: Finally got a taxi back to the flat. A few hours of bleary-eyed
analysis followed, fueled by lots of coffee and a little whiskey.

10.40 am: My train got back into Carlisle and at last I was home. As I
let myself into our home at Barrock Street, exhausted, I realised Linda
had given our collection of furry animals - the Pink Panther, Rupert
Bear and Wembley Bear - permission to stay up till 2 am watching the TV.
They were all sitting in a chair, pointing towards the television.
Somehow, I didn't have the heart to move them...

 

 

 

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