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UK: Peter York On Ads: So that's why they call it dope

Peter York

The Independent

Sunday 05 Nov 2006

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My drugs hell was always hearing people talk about them. Garden-fence
gossip in the Seventies, comparing Spanish Old Spot with Lebanese Red.
Worse still was the business of drugs tourism - upper-class druggies
always loved Afghanistan and all its horrible clothes and products.
(They're welcome to go there now and help but, strangely, few do.) And
the whole palaver of pastes and pipes and cakes. The smell of it, the
taste of it, all so unattractive.

But dope never really felt illegal; it just faded into the background as
a sort of middle-class staple while other more pharmaceutical things
appeared. The feeling was that dope was... organic in its resiny, leafy
way, and harmless, like peppermint tea.

The other stuff was clearly the bad stuff. Crack made underclass people
violent - and in that state they could mug nice people. E killed
teenagers in nightclubs and made brains spongiform, which explained why
post-boys and couriers seemed so dumb. And heroin, so they said in that
useless Eighties government campaign, screws you up and makes you pale;
in line with a strand of romantic mythology going back to the Forties
and Fifties and glorious outsiders. The man with the Golden Arm.

Coke was like champagne initially - money, aspiration, party confidence.
But it rolled-out socially, getting cheap in the Nineties. Coke-induced
paranoia gave the edge to City boys moving on from intravenous Bolly.
But it was boring, and worse, for friends and partners. Living with a
cokehead was like living with a crazed conspiracy anorak, as in "you
only said that because... " or "I saw you wink at her." And now there's
crystal-meth, cutting a swathe through rural America, leaving the
Waltons as toothless teens in ditches. They say it's as easy to make as
hooch or airline bombs.

Dope looked more and more like something for dear old jazzers to
self-medicate for arthritis. But this left out its massive diffusion,
its turbo-charging, over the years. Dope 2006 is different, worse for
brains and behaviour. Don't drive or operate machinery. Skunk means
people get muddled, hostile and hopeless in minutes. And the
brain-people say it can have long-term effects, slowing reactions,
making it harder to learn.

Which is why the new campaign for Frank, the government-backed drugs
advisory service "for young people, parents and carers concerned about
drugs", seems to concentrate on dope and brains. I say seems to because
it's so determined to be relevant to the younger viewer that the
aesthetic urge and production values have taken over. It's set in a sort
of Boots 2020, opening on a giant plasma screen with a Chinese lady in a
white coat saying, "Welcome to the Brain Warehouse". Sad teens wander
round the pinky-grey merchandise. One is stopped by a crazed assistant
who asks him if he's a puker. ("No, I'm all right, mate.") The assistant
has a giant mouth, a surgery scar on his head, and he's lit and shot in
that clichéd bad-trip way.

There are new-model brains with car-like names - The Freak Out Free X50
- an out-of-it black man eating hash cakes and a strung-out brown man in
a turban making bad hand signals (Whitehall's requirement for broad
ethnic coverage). "The more you mess with cannabis the more it can mess
with your mind" seems to be the burden of this period comedy, Chris
Morris-ish affair.

If you want more cannabis comedy go to www.ukcia.org where committed
cannabis anoraks argue over every word on the Frank website and show
miniature pictures of hash and weed

Peter@ sru.co.uk
http://news.independent.co.uk/media/article1956500.ece

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WebBooks Amazing Amazon Store: http://astore.amazon.co.uk/webbooks05

 

 

 

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