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Cannabis Campaigners' Guide News Database result:
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UK: Just say no, Tony
The Telegraph
Wednesday 10 Mar 2004 Teachers are not another branch of the police, says Peaches Geldof. So why is Tony Blair trying to clean up the playground by turning them into drugs busters? It's 8.30am and you're late for double chemistry. You walk through the doors, feeling a little the worse for wear. "Why are you late?" "I missed my bus, Miss." "Obviously, young lady, you have been shooting heroin. Kindly pee in this jar in front of me, please - and no funny business." Tony Blair recently unveiled plans, at probably the worst time possible (what with the confusion about the downgrading of cannabis to a Class C drug last month), for random drug testing in schools nationwide. It seems that Mr Blair has once again decided to follow in President George Bush's footsteps, and taken the brave decision of allowing already hard-pressed teachers to be - at one and the same time - parents, the drug squad and forensic scientists. Teach 'n' Test replaces Education, Education, Education. Part of the gossip that fills the school hallways is about drugs - and especially cannabis, which we have just been told is not particularly harmful (although many scientists and psychiatrists dispute this). Mandatory testing will be as confusing for teachers and pupils as dope appears to be for David Blunkett, the Home Secretary. A quick search on the internet will tell you that cannabis - one of the least harmful drugs, says the Government, and drug of choice for most adolescents - will stay in your system for up to four weeks. Scroll down the page and you will discover why the other drugs Mummy and Daddy always warned you about suddenly seem much more appealing. Pop an E or shoot up on Friday and, like magic, you're "clean"' by Monday in time for the all-important school drugs test. You're not going to be expelled now. It's so simple: stop smoking the harmless weed and begin to kill yourself quickly and efficiently with the Class A hardcore stuff. The Prime Minister's latest brainwave will almost inevitably create more drugs crime than ever, and possibly kill more teenagers than it aims to save. I have always had a certain degree of trust in my teachers. I personally wouldn't want to teach a smartass like me, but they soldier on and I admire that. But mandatory drug testing will change the atmosphere in schools from one of jovial acceptance to one of suspicion and hostility. Teachers, funnily enough, are not another branch of the police. It would be a bit strange seeing dear old Mrs Johnson from class 4JJ's Food Economics suddenly springing into action as Starsky and Hutch, although Mr Harper, the gym instructor, probably knows how to spot a steroid. The job of teachers is to teach, not to watch you having a pee in front of them, which is what is happening in American schools today to prevent pupils swapping their urine for a "clean" sample in a toilet cubicle. And how easy this would be - if you have a strong enough personality to Just Say No to the hard drugs, but the idea of giving up cannabis is just too much. You hear through the grapevine that George from Year 12 is selling clean urine, happily provided by his little brother. You are called back to the headmaster for a second test, so you find the boys selling the product, hide the small pot in the loo before the test - and maybe hide a few for friends, too - and there's nothing to worry about. You can breathe easy, smoke some pot on the weekend, and no one's the wiser. How clever you feel; you've cheated the system. Unless, of course, you live in America, where you will have to stand in front of your teacher, drop your pants and pee into a cup. Sounds like fun. Oh well, I guess one ecstasy on Friday won't hurt . . . Sorry, Prime Minister, you'll have to do better than this.
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